


illogical

by AlmondRose



Series: vulcanterprise [2]
Category: Star Trek: The Original Series
Genre: Alternate Universe, Crack Treated Seriously, Humor, M/M, Species Swap, Transporter Malfunction
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-10
Updated: 2020-05-10
Packaged: 2021-03-03 01:00:47
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,893
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24116185
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AlmondRose/pseuds/AlmondRose
Summary: a transporter incident has the Enterprise crew meeting an alternate, more logical version of themselves.....
Relationships: James T. Kirk/Spock
Series: vulcanterprise [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1740043
Comments: 18
Kudos: 188





	illogical

**Author's Note:**

> there's another work in this series but u don't have to read it to get this if you don't want to, although you should go back and read it cause it's vulcan!kirk & spock's wedding

Here is what happens: Spock, and two Vulcans, beam aboard the  _ Enterprise  _ during an ion storm. 

However, Spock is currently on the bridge, and the  _ Enterprise  _ was attempting to beam up Uhura, a security officer, and a scientist. When Kirk, who was waiting for Uhura’s report, sees Spock and two Vulcans, when he knows Spock is on the bridge, he blinks a bunch, and then says, “Where’s Uhura?” instead of something sensible, like, “Spock, why are you beaming aboard the ship when I  _ know  _ you’re on the bridge?”

All three Vulcans are dressed in the trendy, short Vulcan robes and leggings that the VSA officers on active starships tend to wear for easy mobility. The one in the middle says, his voice flat, “Why are there humans on my ship?”

“Captain,” Spock says, looking around. “I do not think this our ship.”

“Wait a second,” Kirk says. “Timeout. Spock, who is this guy?”

“You know this human?” the Vulcan in the middle says, and Spock shakes his head. 

“No, Captain,” he says, and Kirk looks over at Scotty, who looks dumbfounded. 

“Sir,” he says. “That’s  _ you.” _

“What do you mean?”

“The Vulcan captain,” Scotty says. “Is  _ you,  _ sir.” Kirk looks at the man again, and sees light brown eyes, unusually light hair for a Vulcan, pointed ears, the green flush of a copper-blooded being, arched eyebrows, and his own nose, mouth, and cheekbones.

“So it is,” Kirk says, feeling rather stunned at this turn of events. “Call Spock and Bones down here, then work on finding Uhura.”

“Yes, Captain,” Scotty says, and Kirk steps up to them, holds up a ta’al. 

“I am Captain James T. Kirk of the USS  _ Enterprise,”  _ he says. “Welcome to my ship.”

“I am Captain Skirk of the VSA  _ Enterprise,”  _ the Vulcan captain says. “This is my first officer, Spock, and my head healer, Spon.”

“I see,” Kirk says, inspecting Spon with rising elation. Vulcans are, by nature, peaceful, so Kirk isn’t worried about these VSA scientists attacking him or anything. He is, however, ecstatic to note that Spon is a Vulcan Bones, and he imagines his friend’s reaction to a Vulcan version of himself with glee. 

Spock comes into the room and stops short. 

“Captain,” he says slowly. “What happened.”

“Pretty sure we’ve collided into an alternate universe,” Kirk says cheerfully. “Like the mirror universe, but more  _ logical.  _ Gentlemen, this is  _ my  _ first officer, Spock.”

“Fascinating,” the other Spock says. “I presume in your universe you joined Starfleet instead of the VSA.”

“Yes,” Spock says. “Obviously. However, it seems as if we were regardless to accompany a version of James Kirk.”

“Apparently so,” the VSA Spock says. And then the door swishes open again, and Kirk grins. Spock gives him a funny look, but then--

“What in the goddamned hells was so important I be dragged down here? I have four ensigns in my medbay right now because they were so  _ stupid  _ as to--wait,” McCoy says, stopping in his tracks next to Kirk and staring at the Vulcans. 

“Captain,” Spon says, looking at the wall. “I request that we beam back to our ship.”

“What the  _ fuck  _ is this?” McCoy asks, turning to Kirk.

“Alternate universe version of us, Bones,” he says gleefully. “Where we’re Vulcans.”

“No goddamn way am I a Vulcan in another universe,” McCoy says. “I refuse.”

“I feel much the same way, Doctor,” Spon says. “It is bad enough we have a human on board the  _ Enterprise.  _ I do not like knowing I am one in another universe.” 

“Spon, I have told you that Spock is Vulcan a countless number of times,” Skirk says. 

“If he was raised on Earth and has a human mother, he’s a human,” Spon says. 

“You were raised on Earth?” Spock asks his counterpart.

“You were not?”

“No,” Spock says. “I was raised on Vulcan.”

“Fascinating,” VSA Spock says. “Were you expected to join Starfleet?”

“My father wanted me to join the VSA,” Spock says. 

“My mother wanted me to join Starfleet,” VSA Spock says. They look at each other for several beats. 

“Well that’s just dandy,” McCoy grumbles. “You’re always a rebel, aren’t you, Spock. I can’t believe this.”

“How soon can we beam back to our ship?” Spon asks his captain. 

“We’re workin’ on it,” Scotty calls from his post at the transporter operator. “Actually, it might be better if you guys leave the room so I can work in peace.”

“Logical, Mr….Vot,” Skirk says, and Scotty laughs. 

“Ach! I assume Vot would be the me on your ship then? No, I’m Scotty!”

“Naturally,” Skirk says, and Kirk ushers the Vulcans out of the room. 

“We can go to my quarters,” he says, noting that McCoy has vanished and rolling his eyes. He ushers the Vulcans to his quarters and says, “If my away team beamed into your ship, will they be treated well?”

“Of course, Captain,” Skirk says, sounding offended. “It would be illogical otherwise.” 

“Right,” Kirk says, thinking that his own voice saying “illogical” completely unironically is  _ weird.  _ They arrive at his quarters without getting stopped by anybody and Kirk sends out a notification not to bother him, putting Sulu in charge for the time being. 

He turns back to the Vulcans in his room and watches them look around. 

“This was  _ your  _ quarters, was it not, Captain?” Spon asks, standing by the Vulcan texts that Spock had given him. 

“Yes,” Kirk says. “I can understand and read your native language just fine, Doctor.”

“I see,” Spon says. Skirk reaches out and touches a bishop on Kirk’s chessboard. 

“Do you play with your first officer?” he asks quietly. 

“Yes,” Spock answers for him. 

“My Spock and I play chess as well,” Skirk says, and then he straightens and turns to look at Kirk’s book collection. “It seems we have many similarities, despite the obvious difference.”

“My captain likes to read as well,” the VSA Spock says. “He especially favors pre-Surakian writings.”

“Look,” Spon says, holding up one of Kirk’s books--the collection of pre-Reform poetry. “You have this book, do you not?”

“I do,” Skirk says, and Spon puts it down. 

“It seems that we are quite similar, then,” Kirk says, smiling at him, before he turns to look at his own Spock, wondering just how similar Skirk was to himself. 

Do not ask, Spock cautions. Vulcans are notoriously private. 

I am well aware, Mister Spock, Kirk replies, before he refocuses on his guests. 

“What is the name of your communications officer?” he asks. 

“T’Hura,” Skirk says. 

“Ours is Uhura, and she must be meeting T’Hura right now, if our landing parties truly swapped.”

“I am sure T’Hura would find the experience vigorating,” Skirk says, but Kirk knows how to read Vulcans and knows his own mannerisms, and he thinks that Skirk cannot hide his worry for his ship. 

“We’ll get you guys switched back,” Kirk assures him. “Scotty is the best engineer in the fleet. He’ll figure it out.”

Skirk nods once, jerkily. For a moment, silence falls across the room. 

“It is most fascinating that in this universe I am the same but my entire crew is a different species,” VSA Spock says. 

  
  


“I have a theory,” Starfleet Spock says. “But I would prefer to gather more data before I express it.”

“Take your time,” Kirk says, smiling at him. 

“Is T’Anna here?” Spon asks abruptly, turning away from the pictures on Kirk’s desk. 

“T’Anna?” Kirk repeats, wondering which crewmember Bones would ask after in another universe. 

“My daughter,” Spon says. “She lives on the  _ Enterprise  _ with us. Is she human, too?”

“Joanna lives with her mother on Earth,” Kirk says. “In our universe, McCoy and Jocelyn are divorced. Jocelyn doesn’t let him see Joanna much.”

“I see,” Spon says. “T’Jon broke our bond to pursue kolinahr, and so T’Anna was allowed to travel with me.”

“She’s ahead in her classes at school due to her extra learning opportunities,” Skirk adds. 

“Kolinahr? Is that another reason Vulcans break bonds?” Kirk asks, looking to his Spock. He knows what kolinahr is, of course, but when Spock had gone through pon farr he made it sound like the only reason bonds are broken are from the challenge, or death. 

“Yes,” Spock says. 

“Do you have a Vulcan bondmate?” VSA Spock asks Kirk’s Spock, tilting his head. 

“No,” Spock says. “T’Pring chose the challenge.”

“T’Pring?” Skirk repeats. 

“Yes, she-who-was-my-wife,” Spock says. 

“T’Pring is she-who-was _ -my- _ wife,” Skirk says. “Spock was never bonded to a Vulcan woman.”

“Of course not, as he was raised on Earth,” Spock muses. “Fascinating.” Kirk is almost desperate to ask why Skirk and T’Pring divorced, but he doesn’t, because he knows Vulcans are very private. Also, he knows himself, and he met T’Pring, and he is sure Skirk was in love with her, and it must be painful. 

He does note Skirk’s wording, though. Never bonded to a Vulcan  _ woman.  _ Well, was he bonded to a human woman? Was he bonded to a Vulcan man?

Kirk is willing to bet on the latter, but before he can ignore Spock telling him not to and ask, his communicator chimes. 

“Kirk here,” he says, pressing the button on the wall. 

“Keptin!” Chekov’s voice says. “Mister Scott and I have figured out the transporter problem!” 

“Excellent, we’ll be right down,” Kirk says, and then he turns to his Vulcan visitors. “Gentlemen, it’s been a pleasure, but I think we’d both like to swap back.”

“Yes,” Skirk says, and Kirk leads the way back to the transporter room. Scotty launches into an explanation of what happened, and Kirk and Skirk lean in to listen, while Spon looks at Chekov curiously. 

“Spock,” VSA Spock says to his counterpart. “What was your theory?”

“Ah,” Spock says. “You are from a universe where you chose the VSA. I am from a universe where I chose Starfleet. Our universes took that into account, and provided a constant accordingly.”

“A constant?”

“A woman once told me,” Spock says mildly, tucking his hands behind his back. “That my destiny was to be by Captain Kirk’s side, as if I’d always been there, and always shall be.”

“That is illogical,” VSA Spock says. “The universe did not make Skirk born a Vulcan and Kirk born a human just so he could captain the ship that we ended up on.”

“Perhaps not,” Spock says. “But being surrounded by humans has made me entertain a few illogical indulgences.”

“Spock! It is time to leave,” Skrik calls from his spot on the transporter pad. VSA Spock inclines his head at the other and says, “I will consider your words.”

“Of course,” Spock says, and they part, VSA Spock going to the transporter pad and Starfleet Spock going to stand next to his captain, their arms brushing together. 

“Energize,” Skirk says, and they vanish into gold light that re-solidifies into Uhura and her away team. As Scotty and Chekov rush to her side, Kirk turns to his husband. 

“What are you smiling about?” he asks, even though Spock is doing no such thing. 

“I was just thinking how glad I am to be bonded to a human such as yourself,” he says. “And not a Vulcan version of you.”

“That, Mr. Spock, sounds dangerously romantic,” Kirk says, his eyes sparkling, and Spock shrugs, and heads to greet the away team, Kirk scrambling behind him.

**Author's Note:**

> thanks for reading! comments & kudos always appreciated! 
> 
> LLAP


End file.
